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Writing about breaking into reality.

Essays, memoir and poetry on attention, grief, belonging and aliveness. What does it take to live beyond survival and projection? How do we move towards participation and thriving?

An open journal facing the rising sun in a mountain landscape

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140 pieces

37
Poetry1 min readdefiantIntensity 1/5May 25, 2026

Ecstasy Now

Turns toward the inner voice of insufficiency as a lonely part needing companionship, locating ecstasy not in achievement but in ending the war with oneself.

alivenesscreativityrest and enoughnessshame and worthinessabandonment and attachment
Mode lyric meditation · prose poem · relational inquiryMotifs inner companion · war and embrace · present ecstasy
38
Poetry1 min readdefiantIntensity 2/5May 22, 2026

Leaving Hope

Treats hope as an attachment to an unrealized alternate life that keeps the present in suspension. Severing that bond permits grief for what will not happen and contact with what remains.

attentionalivenessrelationshipsattention as relationshipaliveness through participationintimacy and mutual presence
Mode lyric meditationMotifs severed cord · unlived future · empty horizon
39
Memoir3 min readunflinchingIntensity 5/5May 19, 2026

Performance Won't Earn Belonging

I spent most of my life performing to belong. It wasn’t intentional manipulation. It was survival. The only strategy I had. I grew up with a lot of physical and emotional abuse in a home run by a narcissist. Authenticity was never an option. In fact, it was the most punishable offense. I learned to disconnect from myself and become hyper-attuned to…

identitybelongingrelationshipsbelonging without conformityauthenticity over performancedesire as orientation
Mode autobiographical testimonyMotifs stage and mask · home and exile · earned admission
40
Memoir4 min readunflinchingIntensity 5/5May 18, 2026

Crossing the Desert

Describes the exposed middle of healing after survival strategies have been relinquished but no new identity or capacity has solidified. The desert measures progress precisely because there is no familiar shelter left.

embodimenttraumarelationshipsabandonment and attachmentcreative courageboundaries without withdrawal
Mode autobiographical testimony · somatic inquiry · relational inquiryMotifs desert · door and threshold
41
Poetry1 min readgroundedIntensity 1/5May 16, 2026

Past Future

Interrupts the belief that the past mechanically determines the present and future. By reversing the direction of causality, the poem asks whether present orientation can change the meaning—and therefore the effective power—of what came before.

attentionattention as relationship
Mode lyric meditation · prose poemMotifs arrow of time · past and future mirrors
42
Poetry1 min readintimateIntensity 1/5May 12, 2026

Nothing

A spare ontological meditation on being and nonbeing, testing whether emptiness is truly absence or the open condition from which experience appears.

embodimentembodied awareness
Mode lyric meditation · prose poem · philosophical inquiryMotifs void and emptiness · being and nonbeing
43
Poetry1 min readcontemplativeIntensity 3/5May 10, 2026

Odonata

Takes the dragonfly’s metamorphosis from underwater nymph to airborne adult as an image of surrender so complete that an old world—and the self adapted to it—must disappear.

naturewholeness through inclusion
Mode lyric meditation · prose poemMotifs light and darkness · skin and touch
44
Poetry1 min readcontemplativeIntensity 1/5May 8, 2026

The Spiral Line

Uses geometry to imagine consciousness as a spiral that revisits experience without merely repeating it. The human form becomes a line through time whose changing vantage allows awareness to observe and integrate itself.

creativitywholeness through inclusion
Mode lyric meditation · prose poemMotifs labyrinth and spiral
45
Poetry1 min readgroundedIntensity 1/5May 6, 2026

The Slowness of the Heart

Contrasts dramatic breakthrough with the nearly invisible repetitions through which character and capacity are formed. The heart changes slowly enough that excellence appears ordinary by the time it arrives.

transformationcreativityattentioncreative courageattention as relationshipconsciousness and perception
Mode lyric meditation · philosophical inquiryMotifs heart and pulse
46
Memoir5 min readtenderIntensity 5/5May 4, 2026

A Brush with Death

Recounts an early climbing partnership and a fatal encounter with risk that altered the author’s relationship to mortality, responsibility, and the mountains. Adventure’s beauty is held beside the irreversible consequences of inexperience.

griefcreativitynaturecreative couragegrief as transformation
Mode autobiographical testimonyMotifs mountain
47
Memoir2 min readunflinchingIntensity 3/5May 2, 2026

The Practice of Imperfection

Uses an imperfect creative act to examine exposure, inherited judgment, and the practice of letting unfinished or flawed work be seen without turning against oneself.

transformationfamilytraumaimperfection and practiceancestral and family patternsfear and courage
Mode autobiographical testimony · practical frameworkMotifs unfinished image · shadow of a shadow · exposed flaw
48
Poetry1 min readcontemplativeIntensity 1/5April 28, 2026

Collapsing Spacetime

Compresses cosmic scale—light-years, stars, deep time, and trillions of cells—into the shared immediacy of a single conscious moment. Vastness becomes intimate through attention to here and now.

embodimentattentionembodied awarenessattention as relationship
Mode lyric meditation · prose poem · somatic inquiryMotifs stars and light-years · cells and cosmos · single moment