Leaving Hope

"What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through
in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see
what might have been"
- James, Unforgiven

The hardest thing
is not the suffering.
It's not the damage done.
It's not even
the potential lost.

To be able to see
a better future
and know
it will never be.

To see
what's possible
for people
and watch
them avoid it
with all their might
and succeed...

Seeing
is an act of love.

Seeing
and being
helpless to help
is love wasted.

Watching the juggernaut
run its course.
Seeing the train wreck
before it happens.

People hurting themselves
and each other
to avoid pain.

Their avoidance
creating the very monsters
they are running away from.

It's hard to let go of hope
that people who damaged me
will ever accept
the impact of their actions.

It's hard to know
that accountability
is an essential key
to their healing.
And that they will do anything
to keep their eyes shut.

It's hard to know
that I may
never see
the impact
that I hoped
my writing
would have.

But enough hoping
for the dead
to come alive
when there's so much
life to live.