Eye of the Mountain
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Writing about breaking into reality.
Essays, memoir and poetry on attention, grief, belonging and aliveness. What does it take to live beyond survival and projection? How do we move towards participation and thriving?
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Devotion to Attention
At so many points in my healing,
The Inner Core
Beneath the layers of coping,
A Wild Man
A wild man enjoys climbing a tree.
Piercing the Stone
The Gentlest of Violence
The “Heart” Beat
Challenges the reduction of the heart to a pump by tracing the circulatory system’s vortices, neurons, reciprocity, and distributed intelligence. Biological complexity becomes an argument for receiving and giving as simultaneous forms of participation.
Togetherness
Dissolves the isolated self into weather, matter, motion, and shared attention, imagining belonging as participation in the continuous movement of the world.
Elements of Aliveness
Surveys the nonlinear practices and experiences that transformed a life organized around trauma. Across embodiment, relationship, ritual, creativity, and repeated identity deaths, grief emerges as the solvent that made every other change possible.
Qualities of Balance
Defines balance as responsive freedom rather than rigid stability: a quiet center able to move, hold contradiction, belong, and correct without grasping or force.
Natural Intelligence
Uses biological invasion, germination, metamorphosis, and flight to describe transformation triggered by disruptive contact. Pain and fear become signals that an emerging form of life has exceeded the nervous system’s old boundaries.
Venture Out
Treats the body as a map bounded by perception and asks what becomes possible off that map, where competence gives way to uncertainty, adaptability, and aliveness.
The Body and the Void
Uses the body’s boundary as a philosophical riddle, asking whether self and other are separate entities or mutually created at the edge of perception and touch.
The Tragedy of My Life
Confronts the painful gap between finally seeing one’s life clearly and discovering that insight alone cannot restore what trauma, absence, and adaptation took away.