Guides for Healing

“Suspended, floating in empty spaces
Descending swift like a fire running down
Obstruction, disintegration, life force
Overcoming all circumstances, release the pain”

-Joe Duplantier, Esoteric Surgery

Healing is not a straight line — it’s a spiral through grief, trauma, courage, and meaning. These essays are field notes from the years I spent walking that spiral: breaking, grieving, rebuilding, and learning to live again. Each piece explores a facet of transformation — from the lost language of grief to the alchemy of our flaws, from surviving invisible abuse to rediscovering abundance, from flirting with death to choosing life. Together, they form a map: not a set of answers, but a set of tools. Rituals for the nervous system. Invitations to presence. Proof that even the darkest experiences can become the ground for growth.

Resurrecting the Lost Technology of Grief (Shaping Water - part 3)

• Grief isn’t a stage you “get through.” It’s a living technology — a force that dismantles and remakes us. Here I share how grief works on the body, the spirit, and the community, and why learning its language is key to healing.

Emotional Rape (It’s okay not to stay)

• Abuse doesn’t always leave bruises. The deepest scars I carry came from manipulation, gaslighting, and domination that no one could see. This is my attempt to name the tactics of invisible abuse so they lose their power.

From Scarcity to Abundance, Through Hell (but gamified!) (A walkthrough through the dark night of the soul)

• Scarcity isn’t just about money — it’s the way trauma teaches us to live braced, small, never enough. This piece is about how I turned toward those demons and discovered that abundance isn’t about stuff — it’s about safety, wholeness and breath.

Venom to Medicine: the Alchemy of Growth (Exalting Our flaws)

• This essay explores the alchemy of shadow work — how our most painful flaws and defensive patterns can be transformed into mature, life-serving qualities. Drawing on trauma healing, nervous system science, and spiritual insight, it offers a step-by-step process for turning shame into honor, fear into courage, anger into boundaries, and envy into aspiration. It’s a practical guide to emotional evolution: noticing, accepting, grieving, and rechanneling the energy of our shadows until they become our greatest sources of wisdom and strength.

Write It in Blood if You Must (Thoughts on Suicide)

• This piece is an intimate guide through the landscape of suicidal despair — written by someone who has walked that path and survived it. I write not to shock, but to accompany: to show that even in the deepest darkness, there is a way through. With unflinching honesty, I describe years of living with suicidal thoughts, the paradox of endurance, and the quiet grace of surrender that eventually led to healing. It’s a letter to anyone who has ever felt the pull of oblivion, reminding them that they are not alone, and that their presence still matters deeply in this world.

The Chakra Series

Healing isn’t just abstract — it lives in the body. This series is my attempt to map the lessons of trauma and wholeness onto the seven chakras, weaving together wounds, affirmations, and practices for each one.

The Root Chakra: the right to be (You Hold Me)

• Healing starts at the root. This piece is about rebuilding safety after fear, finding belonging in your own body, and remembering that the ground still holds you — even when everything else falls apart.

The Sacral / Navel Chakra: life force (You Accept Me)

• The sacral chakra is the tide of life moving through us — where discipline meets flow, and strength meets joy. This piece explores how guilt and fragmentation block our natural vitality, and how reclaiming innocence, desire, and movement reconnects us to pure creative life force.

The Solar Plexus chakra: identity (You Chose Me)

• The solar plexus is the forge of identity — where will becomes power and purpose takes shape. This piece explores how shame and control extinguish our inner fire, and how reclaiming agency, discipline, and self-trust allows us to generate energy from within instead of chasing it from others.

The Heart Chakra: connection (You Care for Me)

• The heart is the bridge between self and world — where love stops being a transaction and becomes our natural state. This piece explores how distrust and protection close us off from connection, and how forgiveness, gratitude, and presence reopen the flow of love through every part of life.

The Throat Chakra: voice (You Allow Me)

• The throat is where truth takes shape — the bridge between inner knowing and outer change. This piece explores how silence, fear, and distortion block our power, and how reclaiming honesty, courage, and disciplined action turns voice into leadership and words into reality.

The Third Eye Chakra: insight (You Know Me)

• The third eye is the lens of insight — where perception deepens into wisdom and intuition becomes trustworthy. This piece explores how confusion, cynicism, and fantasy cloud our vision, and how curiosity, alignment, and trust restore the ability to see truthfully — within and without.

The Crown Chakra: purpose (You Are Me)

• The crown is the gateway between the personal and the cosmic — where purpose, surrender, and awareness converge. This piece explores how addiction, distraction, and control sever our connection to meaning, and how devotion, trust, and presence reopen us to the quiet vastness of being part of everything.

The Helm of Dustiny (Alignment and orientation)

• This is an art piece to bring tomorrow into today and to find alignment and orientation in life.