How to Do 100 Years of Transformational Healing in One Year

First of all, congrats for taking the click bait. Seriously, this means a part of you knows that you need 100 years of healing! Most of us do, but most of most of us lack the self awareness and humility to admit it. Cheers!

Second, let’s be real, the title is a mild exaggeration. In all seriousness, that would be too good of a deal. I didn’t mislead you though: this is just not in full seriousness. Maybe 86.37% seriousness.

Third, I hope you have a seatbelt on the chair you’re sitting on because... let’s fucking go!

Disclaimer: before we begin, you got to be able to say “fuck you” to the person you currently are.

20 Steps (of Self Evident Bad News with no Sugar Coating)

1. You’re wrong about everything.

Accept your flaws, see reality for what it is, etc. You need 100 years of healing, remember? Fuck that guy. They need to learn humility.

2. Everything is your fault.

Yes, you need to take responsibility and accountability. You are not powerless, you just can’t control what other people do. Blame is a distraction. Including self-blame, especially self-blame. You know this.

3. And it’s okay.

This one’s a tough one. What else can I say... you can do this! You can be flawed and immature, that’s the foundation of your growth. If you don’t cut yourself some slack you’re basically choking yourself. So.

4. There’s no way around pain.

You might as well learn from it. Healing hurts. Deep healing hurts deeply. No plot twist here.

5. You already know what you need to do.

It’s called fear. Fear is a compass for growth. You know what you’re afraid of. Go! But don’t be an idiot about it.

6. No one is coming to save you.

It’s all you, buddy. You can pay others to save you though! It’s often a good first step. But the rest of the way is on you.

7. Conflict is an illusion.

You think you disagree with someone? You don’t. You just haven’t had a conversation long enough. Stop inventing excuses to avoid the chat.

8. You can’t control anything. Except yourself. Sometimes.

It’s safe to say that if you can’t control something it’s probably not a part of you.

9. Addiction is boring.

You don’t like boring. We’re not born to repeat things. That’s why we’re not called robots. And why they will never replace us. Being human means we do new shit. On purpose. Addiction is repetition without revelation. Choose revelation.

10. It’s all good news.

Shit’s fucked up? Good. You’re depressed? Then rest. You’re suicidal? Great: most people are limited by the fear of death, you’re not! Your health is terrible? Good, expect less from yourself, then.

11. Anything positive that comes from other people is extra.

Frosting on the cake. You’re the cake. The more you can be your own community, the more you’ll be a part of community. Be good company to yourself and you’ll be good company for others.

12. Your body is not your tool.

Your body is you. Your head is a tool. You are not your head. Your head is not a hammer. I know. It had to be said.

13. It takes strength.

Healing is tough but capacity can be built. It’s called intentional practice. It’s been done before. Sets and reps, baby. Figure it out.

14. Your feelings are real.

Maybe even, you are your feelings. But they are not facts. You have feelings about the facts. But that doesn’t mean that you should take facts more seriously than feelings. That’s a fact.

15. You decide how much love you accept.

The world is made of love. Stop preventing yourself from letting it in. You are part of the world, so...

16. Fast is last.

You go fast by going steady. You go steady by being slow. The turtle wins the race. Also, it’s not a race. Healing is pretty badass, take your time with it and enjoy it.

17. Permission for you is yours to give.

Fine. I give you permission to give yourself permission. I have no problem giving myself permission to give you permission. I certainly don’t need yours.

18. You got to dance, baby.

What do you think you’ll be doing when you’re healed? Might as well start practicing now. Don’t take 100 years to do it or it will take 100 years to do it.

19. We grow into the void.

Otherwise, it’s not called growth. If you know where you’re going then you cannot be any more lost. Lost is good. It means you’re showing up.

20. You don’t have to earn every good thing that happens.

Things can be good things even if you didn’t earn them. Good things are good and you deserve them.

You will not be the same person once healed. Your friends may not like them any more but you will. You will love them. And you will love being them.

And one more secret. You don’t need a year. You just need this moment.

Make it the movement the future you doesn’t say “fuck that guy” any more.