The Last Sacrifice

Letting go of trauma identity is hard.
Letting go of the personality built for healing
That’s something else entirely.

Giving up that which has served so well.

The overanalyzing,
The constant monitoring of self,
The leaning into discomfort,
Associating intensity with meaning,

The work,
The courage,
The explosive insight,
The inspiration,

The drive,
The activation,
The extraordinary,
The heroic,

The depth,
The narrative,
The transformation,
The ecstasy.

The last things to go
Before blast off
Into ordinary weightlessness.

Boosters that were essential in becoming,
But are in the way of being.

I am afraid of who I am
When work’s no longer hard.
How do I know I’m moving
When the breakthroughs stop?

The story has been getting shorter
And shorter.

Until.

I’m starting to find myself
Not that interesting any more.

Hello world.